People are always like, “Christian! How do you make your life so blisteringly efficient” and I never have time to answer, but here are some techniques you too can adopt:

Write what your plugs are. I don't care how it looks. Spend less time under the desk.

Rip the top off the egg carton in the fridge so you don't have to haul it out and open it to get an egg. Also you can see how many eggs left. Pretty small one I'll admit.

Don't use a cutlery tray. Just dump your clean cutlery into the drawer loose and pick out what you need. Not that hard to identify a fork.

Take all your closet doors off so you never have to open a closet. This one's sort of a joke, but also, not really.

If you like roasting garlic a lot, get one of those dedicated garlic roasters. This one's definitely a joke. But again, sort of not.

Make it your “job” to do household tasks like washing dishes and laundry by “paying” yourself money, and spend it exclusively on self-care. Sorry that this one is inherently capitalist.

Keep your main “to-do list” in a notebook. Hold a ritual to imbue the book with dark sentience so you HAVE to do all the things or else learn the book's consequences. Infuse it with essential oil during the ritual so the smell makes you remember its power.

More life hacks! Alone all the time? Make yourself a digital “friend” to keep you company

Another one for if you live alone is to keep clocks and water on both sides of the bed

Sorry these got depressing. I'll bring it back: paint raised bumps on your keys with acrylic paint so you can differentiate them in the dark. Coming home from a party