Oct 14, 2023
With the Go airline about to cross over into the Asian market and the release of the open source Shimari Extension this summer, it feels like Mirth Turtle is on the cusp of explosive success. But just in case any VCs are hovering, it's pragmatic to have a pivot planned and ready. Luckily, there's an adjacent animal from which to execute such a maneuver: the esteemed tortoise.
This fall, a new branch of the business is taking shape. Focused on live coding, open source software, and supporting shareware authors from days past, Source Tortoise Software is almost here to diversify the animal line-up. Keep an eye on the Twitch channel for the inaugural broadcast, and let me know if you think of any more shelled creatures I can incorporate into the project.
Speaking of incorporation, Mirth Turtle corped up this summer, which means I'm now obligated to multiple classes of shareholders! To prevent me from being removed as CEO in disgrace, please help the company earn profits by investing in a Mirth Turtle membership. The lifetime option is most prestigious, but now there's a monthly option too, if you needed a reason to put a 🐢 into your monthly budget spreadsheet. Because let's be honest – we all need more animals in our financial documents.
May 31, 2023
Nothing kills the momentum of a technology-based business like a lack of dev time, revenue, marketing, in-person appearances, and hope for the future. But once spring returns, along with the sun, there's sure to be a boost in all areas. To leverage this, Mirth Turtle is launching a new Go airline! Let's just hope I have enough runway.
Something else to blame for killing business momentum is the shifting online landscape. With the slow, sad collapse of Twitter and subsequent failures of various Mastodon servers I migrated to, I was lacking a reliable social network on which to post cat pictures and Go memes. But not one to wait around for some billionaire to hack together the next misinformation machine, I built one of my own where only I can post! Along with consolidating underappreciated bangers from years past, it sends out weekly newsletter-style emails so you'll never miss a post because of a corporate algorithm. Now I have reliable microcommunication and I don't have to deal with randos challenging my correct opinions or posting their own.
In more chilling news – this year has brought the grave uncertainty of AI. Now that those electric brains are threatening to upend even my backup careers, it feels timely to look back at my 2015 novel Ghostcrime, in which I predicted an eerie amount of this cold robot future (but not, unfortunately, soon enough to stop it from happening). Here at Mirth Turtle HQ, Dawn's working hard on a new edition with more bonus appendix material, an updated cover from Bruce and even a tabletop RPG! Keep an eye out for that... as well as any genius-level logic machines attempting to steal your livelihood.
Jan 27, 2023
This company's on the cusp of an official launch, and you know what that means – asking investors for money. But none of them are returning my calls, so if you'd like to step up, here's one way: purchasing the Comedy Gold lustrecard.
You aren't just buying metal – encoded in each magnetic strip is 76 characters of pure comedy! That's far more than Visa or MasterCard provides. You'll also get a lifetime membership to the site, which is considered by some to be priceless.
This fresh injection of capital will be necessary for hiring a team of dedicated staff, renting headquarters, etc. I've been watching that show "Industry", and it's given me a lot of ideas about things a business should have. Although: I don't want to be on the phone as much as they are. That industry really needs to learn about email.
For those with no interest in comedy products, there's another way to support this enterprise. While I was cleaning up a garbage spill outside, I came upon a slimy hard drive, and stored within was some similarly disgusting digital currency! Please help me burn some of this odious Raccooncoin using my proprietary algorithm.
Apr 2, 2020
In many respects, self-employed life and quarantine life don't look very different. I was social distancing for a good month before stringent measures came into effect here, just writing code, blog posts, spreadsheets, etc. In terms of work style, not much has changed for me.
But of course everything has changed.
Will people still want cutting-edge Go software in the world after the pandemic? What about stories about badgers? If I even manage to survive, will any investors be left? I'll need someone to give me truckloads of money.
Stay safe everyone.
Feb 26, 2020
With springtime just around the corner, I've been working hard on upgrading the sites and getting ready for my next big project. SPOILERS: it's Go-related.
If you play Go, you're going to love it, and if you don't play Go yet, maybe it'll convince you to give it a try.
In April, I'll be exhibiting at the Spring Geequinox again, and I'll likely have something to show you by then, as well as a few more suprises.
EDIT: Geequinox is unlikely to happen but the title ended up being pretty accurate.
Dec 31, 2019
Looking back on 2019 and attempting to evaluate my self-worth based on my creative output is a bad idea but I'm doing it anyway. Probably my biggest accomplishment was the company re-brand, but the stock market game was more fun, both to make and play-test. There are still ways you can manipulate the market in order to win, but I wanted to leave that mechanic in the game, for realism.
I also experimented with doing a Go live stream this year and worked out the kinks, some technical, and some with the format itself. 2020 is going to bring a different flavour of stream as well as more Go content and tools, but this was a solid start.
That was pretty much it for this year – not my most prolific, but now I've got some bigger projects in the works, and I'm carving off more time for creating. Please help by purchasing a Lifetime Membership.
Oct 9, 2019
It seems like just yesterday I created my small comedy publishing company, but in fact it was back in 2011, almost 3,000 days ago. With the changing tastes of the market over the years, the business, too, has had to change – but never as drastically as now. I've done a full re-brand, and I'm pivoting to an entirely new model.
Instead of a comedy company that occasionally produces Go content... it's a Go company that also produces comedy.
I present to you Mirth Turtle Media.
Oct 5, 2018
Sometimes, concepts are just funny to some people. For instance, my brother has this thing where he thinks people in oversized mascot suits smoking inside the suit is inherently funny. He's not wrong.
I bring this up because I believe that precious metals have an inherent comedy about them. Don't get me wrong — I think noble gases are pretty hilarious too — but metal is easier to print on, so it's more feasible as a creative medium. I've also got a thing about magnets. The concept of them just kills me. I can't explain it very well.
Anyway, I've got a new metallic comedy project that involves magnetism if you want to understand better.
Jun 11, 2018
Hello. I've been doing a bit of melon-driven marketing recently, so if you're visiting because of that, high-five. Now that you're here, perhaps you'll consider buying a book. It's been said that Ghostcrime is very funny.
Speaking of marketing, I've been doing more work on ScaleQuail lately, and I'm deep in advertising hell, as you can probably tell from the recent melon initiative. Please bear with me for a few weeks.
Nov 5, 2017
With the air cooling down outside, I've been prompted to think about what I'm going to be working on this winter, as it's often a good time to hunker down and get a big project done.
At some point I should dig into Snapback, Volume 3 if I want to stick to the yearly release schedule, but I also want a bit of time away from that world, so I'm looking at other things.
I've been chipping away at another interactive fiction project in the same vein as Diamond Find. It improves on the underlying BinaryWoods engine, but won't be quite as staggeringly ambitious in size. With a few good weekends and maybe a burst at Christmas, I can probably get it done before the new year. So far: it's good.
I'll also be working on the ScaleQuail project, in order to "scale up" the business and increase distribution of my current offerings. Keep an eye on that, and I'll be making noise around the holidays to remind you that they make great gifts.
Until then, let me know if you want to collaborate on anything.
Oct 6, 2017
This has been in the works since a productive bout of "work mania" this summer, but today, ScaleQuail is live!
ScaleQuail is a blog about scaling up one's comedy business so that it may compete in the world marketplace as a profitable laughter entity. Follow along at home if you've got a comparable startup!
Amber Solberg did the excellent quail art.
Aug 16, 2016
These days, you might expect a tech-savvy (or well-funded) novelist to release a tie-in game along with their new book. While I've got a game in the works to go with the re-release of my cat thriller Gray, I'm going a slightly different direction with Ghostcrime.
The first difference you'll notice is that I'm only doing this now, and I released Ghostcrime a good 10 months ago. Listen, I had other stuff going on, okay? I hadn't even built the eBook store yet.
But also, instead of a tie-in game, I've built a tie-in CRM!
This application keeps track of your contacts, your obligations to them, upcoming meetings, and recurring tasks you need to remember. It also keeps track of all the books you're reading right now and ideas you've had, nudging you to complete them when you'd ordinarily go do something else, like watch TV.
Now, unlike the sad protagonist of Ghostcrime, you can sort your life out with technology's help! It's called ghostCRM.
That's the joke.