I love watching sports documentaries because I go in knowing NOTHING

Caught a smirk from the garden store cashier as I selected a decorative gourd for purchase

ME: i love birds. they are beautiful and good and also funny and interesting ALSO ME: if that BIRD doesn't stop GODDAMN CHIRPING at that SPECIFIC PITCH

Getting mad at the Counting Crows version of Big Yellow Taxi because the taxi anecdote obviously didn't happen

I can assure you I'm not

Do I want to learn this Michelle Branch song on guitar, or do I want my business to succeed? #sigh #business

Shimari Go Discipline is the featured article this month on Sensei's Library! 🥹

https://senseis.xmp.net/

So hard to meet potential romantic partners on the e-bike because I'm always going at such speeds, and because I'm a huge nerd

Finding myself in a Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever situation by naming my product something terrible and having it fail miserably

ME: oh god oh no everything is falling apart what am I gonna do ALSO ME: I folded Charlie's blanket over him and he's a BIT grumpy about it

Garlic cured and processed

Having a devastating social hangover from seeing like 25 people I love at the same time

Something that's bad about being self-employed is I can't get a promotion. But I can eat more jelly beans

Montell Jordan advises, “You gotta get your groove on before you go get paid,” but I think I might have missed a few preliminary steps

It's trash wasp season

Crypto guys heard “Neither a borrower nor a lender be” and were like, OR BE BOTH AT ONCE WITH LEVERAGED YIELD-FARMING

@FlyknifeComics and I have been riffing on “The Killing of a Sacred Deer” for years at this point

I was brought into this world to help people (with technology problems of a general nature)

*watching The Practice and crying* I love you District Attorney Helen Gamble

Can't believe Hillbilly Elegy could have just been forgotten. Now it will be remembered forever

Harvested my first ever crop of garlic and now the apartment smells so overwhelmingly of garlic that it's invading my dreams